that thing you do.

Switch

2012-01-25T16:33:00.000-08:00

So we finally exchanged our goodbyes earlier this morning. Mom was very teary, kept mentioning how she's going to miss Hesa. Of course both dads acted all cool. I tried that too. It worked up until I saw them get into the car and waved at us.

Oh the waterworks. I just couldn't stop my tears from falling! Had Hesa in my arms and she was looking at me curiously.

My daughter was probably wondering when did we switch places and her mommy became the cry baby.

Help!

2012-01-23T04:09:00.000-08:00

It's almost dawn and I am wide awake. I normally take the late-night "shift" and let H sleep in a little or else he'd be a walking zombie the entire day.

My parents are leaving in 2 days and boy would I love to find out how our lives will be like without the extra hands. I'm feeling scared, nervous, a little depressed, sad and tiny bit excited that we will be handling things on our own all at once.

Okay seriously (and honestly), the thought of doing this without the much needed extra help creeps the hell out of me!

Si Debab

2012-01-19T20:59:00.000-08:00

Had a 4-week visit with the midwife. My baby has grown. SO MUCH!

She weighs 4.4 kg now. In less than one month, she gained a kilo! My mom calls her a Sumo Wrestler. My dad says she's a Chinese baby - apparently the Chinese love fat babies, they are defined to be more prosperous (I loveeee fat babies!). My sister-in-law has officially nicknamed her "Roti Bom".

H and I? We are just happy that she's a happy baby. So long that she doesn't end up as a sumo wrestler when she grows up.

My baby with her yummy finger-lickin' good arms.

Little Miss Two-Faced.

2012-01-06T00:38:00.000-08:00

Hesa has a little bit of an attitude. She can be pretty hard to handle sometimes but when there's a doctor or a midwife, she's an absolute angel. And the turnover of moods can happen in a matter of minutes!

She has been suffering from a blocked nose and has difficulty in breathing. It really breaks our heart seeing her having to put an extra effort just to breathe. On top of that, the blockage has made it very hard for her to latch on properly and this has made her extremely fussy whilst feeding.

So we were pretty relieved when we realized that we were due for a visit from the midwife the very next day. She was grumpy from the day before up until the midwife buzzed our apartment. And then all of a sudden she became a perfect little baby who was just so adorable! We were describing right down to the very last detail on how she was acting previously but there she was, all smiley, calm and collected. Of course this made H and I look like bunch of crazy, very paranoid parents. Sigh!

And *surprise, surprise* the moment the midwife left our apartment, she started acting up again. It got so bad that we decided to bring her to the pediatrician the very next day. Again, the same thing happened. An absolute angel.

Who said a 4-week-old baby isn't capable of doing anything?!

January 1st!

2012-01-01T21:53:00.000-08:00

My three-rings-in-a-day story

He proposed on June 14th, 2010 in Avillion Port Dickson. It was in the morning right before we got ready for breakfast when he took out the Hearts on Fire box from his bag and asked if I'd marry him. The diamond rocked but the setting didn't do it any justice.

I was myself when I crinkled my nose to answer his question if I liked the ring.

He was himself when he took me to Ampang to change the setting, ordered another ring for our engagement after a pit stop at Tiffany's for our pre-engagement ring.

See what I told you about knowing whether the person is right for you? You don't need a long time to know that.

Of course, I only agreed to marry him a week later :)

H and I are one today! My 365 days with you has been nothing but one hell of a roller coaster ride - cheesy, I know. But trust me when I say even after all of those that we've been through, I'd do everything with you all over again in a heartbeat.

Sometime during the beginning of us. H hates this picture, says he's covered with powder.

During our honeymoon. Again, H hates this picture. He gained 8 kilos shortly after we got hitched and here's a picture to proof that!

Our very last date. Exactly a week before the baby's due date. I dislike this picture seeing how massive I've gotten. H, on the other hand, loves this - he finally managed to shed off a few kilos after arriving in Melbourne. Life's just unfair!

Fullhouse.

2011-12-29T19:29:00.000-08:00

Both parents and parents-in-law are here in Melbourne. Imagine, 7 of us in a one-bedroom apartment. Everywhere I turn, I see another person. Saying that the house is crowded is an understatement. The only time that I look forward to is my bathroom time or also known as my me-time. Yikes! H and I really need to buy a huge apartment once our lease is up.

But anyway, having them around has made me feel both grateful and annoyed. Those sleepless nights? Still there but we get to sleep in a little during the day since H's parents just can't seem to put Hesa down. At all. And truthfully, it's nice if you get a little break from the baby. Makes you feel saner somehow. Did I tell you that someone so tiny can really dictate on how your day will turn out like? Of course there's also the down side of having to hear both moms nag about everything. Living with two people who pretty much had the luxury of people attending to their needs can make you feel like killing yourself. This whole confinement period isn't really working for me. Not when I'm 3000 miles away from Malaysia, with no maid and extended family members to pitch in.

Other than that, my darling has grown quite a fair bit! Makes me feel all those sleepless night were totally worth it :)

Labour Experience

2011-12-23T20:18:00.000-08:00

Where do I even begin?

I had a pretty long labour. Started at 7am on Wednesday (14th of December) and she only decided to make an appearance a day later at 10 am.

I woke up early on Wednesday morning feeling really uneasy in my tummy. It didn't really cross my mind that it was the early phase of labour until an hour later when it didn't go away. Tried waking H up but (surprise, surprise) he was fast asleep. This was our exact conversation that morning:

me: Be, I think I'm in labour

H: Really? Okay. *continues snoring*

Yes, that's the love of my life.

Anyway after a couple of hours, he finally woke up to have breakfast. And that was when my water broke. I've been reading a couple of books and most of them mentioned on how your water rarely breaks before you reach the hospital so I wasn't exactly certain on what was happening then. The thing about delivering in Australia is that they've been doing so much research that studies have shown the labour phases are significantly shorter when you are at a familiar surroundings (i.e.: your home). And during our childbirth classes they kept mentioning that if you are still not in your active phase yet, chances are they will send you home.

So I delayed and delayed. Mom's all freaked out by now, insisting that we should be heading to the hospital. Made H call the emergency hotline to tell that my water broke but since it was him who made the call, naturally they thought he was just being paranoid and told him off by telling him "if it's the water, your wife would know that".

Stalled some more - I just didn't want to be sent home! But after a little while I gave up and called the hospital. Was told to check myself in. After series and series of checkups at the assessment centre, we were told to go home since the contractions weren't fairly consistent nor significant. You can imagine how annoyed my mom was. Kept hearing her muttering things like "But back in Malaysia, we'd be in the birthing suite by now".

Went home, had my last round of Mom's specialty chicken rice and then *bam* my contractions just went on full-blast. Since I didn't want to be sent home for the second time, God knows how long I tried to put off the visit to the hospital. Finally just two hours before midnight when I couldn't take it anymore, I admitted defeat and went to the assessment centre (again!). Luckily I was already 4cm dilated so they moved me to the birthing suite.

My contractions were getting stronger and stronger and I was at the verge of just giving everything up! And the worst part is that I kept trying to push the baby out but I wasn't fully dilated and I was told not to by the midwife. Repetitively - she was pretty stern. She gave me the happy gas to breathe into every time I feel the contractions coming. It worked for a little while but the urge to push was so much greater after a little while.

Anyway, come morning, two extremely nice midwives came in and took over the evil witch on the night shift. I can't remember the exact time I was fully dilated and it was time to push but man I just went on pushing-frenzy if there's such thing. To make things worse, baby was on posterior position (facing up instead of down). Typically when this happens they'd either use the forceps or the vacuum to suck the baby out but I was just too lazy to tell them that I was in so much pain that I continued pushing until she came out. Result? I had a pretty nasty 3rd degree tear (4th degree being the worst, 1st and 2nd being normal tear) and lost a substantial amount of blood.

Oh yes, no epidural, no forceps and no vacuum. The midwives and the doctors kept praising me on being really strong but honestly, I was just too plain lazy to say anything.

Poor H though, I think I broke his fingers for squeezing them all night long! :)

And she has finally arrived!

2011-12-20T18:13:00.000-08:00

Alana Hesa Muhammad Hanif

Born on December 15th, 2011 @ 20 Muharram at 10.10 am

3.182 kg

Oh, I'm a proud (and extremely exhausted) Mommy!

Late!

2011-12-13T23:23:00.000-08:00

She's late. Late, late late!

Love, Mommy's all freaked out now.

Went for another round of antenatal checkup at the hospital and doctor has finally confirmed that I'll be given an induction of labour this Thursday, 15th of December 2011.

Oh yes, it's time to really freak out!

And it's finally December!

2011-12-07T22:15:00.000-08:00

Oh yes, the month that H and I have been waiting anxiously. Baby girl is due in a week's time and you have no idea how freaked out I am.

Mom's here so at least I have one thing to be happy about. Her being here somewhat helps reduce my stress level; minus the once-in-awhile "comments" on how we've been managing our home. Mom's a perfectionist so you can imagine how she has turned our little apartment around. She has specifically requested for a mug tree (so our mugs will finally be organized neatly!) and a couple of photo frames from home. Sigh! But hey, I am not complaining, sometimes it's just awesome to have a perfectionist to look after you because you'll get the best of the best :)

I have finally stopped procrastinating and packed my hospital bag and boy do I have a lot to bring.

Had the (now) weekly antenatal checkup on Tuesday and the midwife found the most puzzling thing. I was measuring way too small for someone who is already in Week 39. See, the measuring of your belly is meant to match your current gestational week - plus minus a cm or two. I have been measuring perfectly well but this time around my belly is only at 35 cm. And the funny thing is that just last week I was measuring at 37.5 cm! So now the doctor thinks that there may be something wrong with my placenta. We spent a good 5 hours in the hospital going through series of checkups! But Alhamdulillah they didn't find anything nasty from the results.

So now what? Now we shall wait for this Sunday to finally meet our precious!

Baby stuff

2011-11-22T21:49:00.000-08:00

Here's one thing that you should know about majority of the first-time parents. They get extremely excited and would want to buy everything under the sun. From the most important things like diapers and cots right down to the seriously unimportant ones such as an additional bath tub to be used just for the first 3 months.

Sadly, H and I are exactly like that. We have been buying so many things that you would think we are expecting triplets instead of just one baby girl. And me being unemployed is definitely not doing us any good either. I'd search for everything that is baby-related online and when H comes back from work my first greeting to him would be: "Darling, I've found this awesome thing for our baby!" And him being him, he would never say no but I'm sensing it's mostly because he just wants me to shut up.

Anyway, back in early November we bought a cot and a changing table for the baby girl. And of course, a couple of days later in one of our child birth classes at the hospital, I saw a video clip of a mom keeping the baby close to her by putting a bassinet right next to her bed so it'd be really convenient in case anything happens when she's asleep. Me, being the sucker that I am, started hunting for a baby moses basket the very next day itself (yeah, because putting the cot next to my bed is just out of the question).

And behold! We found one.

Dear H, I know you're completely clueless on me writing all of this down but I thank God everyday for making you my life partner for I dont think I'll ever find someone as patient and as loving as you.

Time flies!

2011-11-22T04:13:00.000-08:00

Can you believe that next week is already December?

2011 has been by far the most interesting year so far. I mean, what's not interesting about finally settling down with someone you love indefinitely as well as having a child to call your own. It's still very very surreal though.

Oh and of course, a couple of other exciting things happened to some of my dearest friends. Like how Nabilah just got married a week ago (shame, I was, and still am, too big to travel. Even airlines don't want me now!) and Arif is one step closer to tying the knot. Woots! I love receiving news like this because that would only mean one thing: H and I won't be the only ones with a child when we go out for lunch or whatever.

I've been pretty much hibernating at home these past few weeks. I am a little too big to be walking on my own now and since H works most of the time, I dare not go out. So get this, in this one month itself, I have successfully managed to update myself on the latest episodes of Psych, Gossip Girl, How I Met Your Mother and the Big Bang Theory. And that's after watching thousands of reruns. See how my life totally rocks now?!

But thanks to my sad puppy eyes, H took me out the whole of yesterday. We went out for lunch and more baby stuff shopping. Result? Me regretting putting on those sad eyes. H made me walk at least 5 kilometres in total (yes I might be exaggerating but it certainly felt like that).

Just three more weeks to go. Less, actually. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

Melby baby shower

2011-11-05T18:46:00.000-07:00

I could list down a thousand and one different things about the bad things on being pregnant. At the top of my list would be the following:

1. Constant backache and it appears that you just can't seem to do anything about it. At all! No amount of back rubs or massages can ever eliminate the aching.

2. On top of the really sore back, you can't be lying on your

back for 5 months. Every day. Every single day. Every. Single. Day.

3. The mood swings. Oh, the horror! I've laughed, smiled, yelled, cried for no apparent reason in one day. Sometimes in under one hour. H thinks I'm crazy that way. There are times when he'd go into the room and find me crying and when he asks "What's wrong?". I'd start laughing and say "I don't know".

But of course, there are certainly upsides to it too. Like the baby shower. We've got really awesome friends that my baby girl was thrown not one but three baby showers in total.

They planned a surprise baby shower for the baby girl again just yesterday in our apartment. Apparently they've planned it for a lil while now, telling me that the actual shower would be next week. So you can imagine how delighted I was to see them yesterday.

And amongst the presents that we received were these:

Oh yes, our baby may be H's girl but she loves me :)

p/s: muka macam telur. Sigh.

First of the many (I hope!)

2011-11-01T00:35:00.000-07:00

I am.... BACK!

(Like anyone will ever know)

But anyway, I've decided to continue blogging as you will never get how bored I am at the moment. So here's the short update on what's been up since... I don't know how long.

I am happily married, heavily pregnant, an unemployed Australian resident and seriously very, very hungry.

See, as a stay-at-home soon-to-be mom, life can get pretty dreadful at times. With really limited number of things that I can do, I am this close to shouting my lungs out just to express how bored I am. Sure there's cleaning and cooking (oh the life of a domestic goddess!), but how dirty do you imagine our apartment is and how many times can I cook in a day? Plus H cooks for the both of us when he's not working anyway because believe me, he wouldn't even let me lift a finger because I shall quote his exact words: "No no, it's okay. You are pregnant!". (Did I tell you being pregnant is another slang for being disabled?)

And things like facebook and online shopping? Done and seen them all. At least twice. In one day.

Oh I can't wait until the baby pops out. Which.. by then, I shall start complaining of having way too many things on my plate that I wish I could turn back time to right about.. now.

Life is just awesome, don't you think? :)